Oh, is that new dear…?

Nobby has been home from work for two hours now and hasn’t yet noticed that I have had my hair cut. Oh dear. Does he have any idea at all of the mortal peril he is in? Say your goodbyes now, friends and family, this guy is toast. I have to say though, I do have a slightly guilty feeling about the haircut as I was ‘seen to’ by the boss of the establishment, a young and attractive young man, who ran his fingers through my hair for a blissful 45 minutes this morning. Ooh, it was nice. And totally helped me get over the disconcerting feeling I had during the shampooing that the shampoo smelled just like Matey Bubble Bath.

Maybe he’s being cool because I didn’t manage to pick up his new trousers from the shop today. In theory I had all last week to do it, but , ahem, the car was available to him all weekend as well you know. I did make an attempt; I went all the way to town, paid 2 euros for parking only to find the store closed. It’s another French oddity, not as bad as refusing to sell stamps in the Post Office of course, but many places become a ghost town on Mondays and I am still not used to it after four years. Mostly because, as with French verbs, there are exceptions to the rule but you’ll never remember them all so you just have to try and be prepared to fall flat on your face. The toy shop is open on Mondays, but only after 2.30pm, the supermarkets are open all day as normal, but the menswear boutique we happened to find the perfect trousers in was shuttered and dark. Just my luck.

…The ladies wear shop next door was open though so I gave myself an early birthday present, which he won’t notice either because I will put it in the wardrobe for a few weeks so that when he sees it and says ‘When did you get that?’ I can truthfully say ‘What, this? oh ages ago dear.’

I have no idea why men have such problems keeping up with the rules. You have to comment on the hair but you might want to let the expensive cashmere cardy pass you by until the credit card’s paid off. Unless of course it’s a weekend when of course you absolutely have to tell her how wonderful it looks and so worth the money.

No, don’t try to follow it, boys, the rules will all be different tomorrow anyway. So stay awake!