Be careful what you say…

There is a new by-word in the Nobby household for cheekiness, sarcasm and general f*ckwit commentary – the Bloggable Offence. Nobby invented it when I relayed the story of Pickle and the ‘nice to see you up and dressed’ quip. He was still smarting from the ‘would you like me to drive?’ backlash in a previous post and warned our offspring ‘you’d better watch out, that’ll be straight on her blog.’ And he was right.

Well they have both done it again in the last half an hour, bless them, and it just wouldn’t be right to let them get away with it.

Pickle was off to play with Boy-Next-Door on his computer and he popped in to tell me he was going. I was touched that he hadn’t just buggered off without a word so I told him how much I would miss him.

Pickle: well, if you miss me you could go and get Boo Boo [teddy]… and while you’re in my room I’ll let you clean it up as well.

I’m not sure what his last slave died of (don’t tell me – disobedience) or where he gets the impression that I live for housework but I don’t think I like it.

However, I do acknowledge there is a need to tidy up, especially because when Nobby just phoned on the home number – he’s the only one that does – I couldn’t find the handset anywhere. It shouldn’t be a problem since we have an answering machine, only the stupid thing kicks in after just 3 rings and Nobby won’t talk to it. So when I eventually located the phone under a pile of laundry, cursing myself for not switching off the ruddy machine, he’d already hung up. B*stard. I shot him a text, dripping with sarcasm, to which he replied ‘oops!’ but he hasn’t phoned back. He probably knows I’m already broadcasting his latest faux pas across the airwaves and just decided to read about it later.

Very sensible. You may have spotted that after two days with only the kids for company my vocabulary is starting to slip and I reckon I could slice heads off with my tongue right about now. I think I even swore in front of my parents on Skype last night, oops indeed.

Anyway, given that its Saturday, Poppet is at a friend’s house, Pickle is ensconced next door and Nobby is in Portugal on a golfing mini-break ‘wiv da ladz’ I am going to stick 2 fingers up to the housework and settle myself on the sofa while there’s no-one to wrestle with for the remote control. All I can say is Tiggy had better behave.