We've been to Wien...

Where in the world can you conduct an orchestra, fly through the air dressed as a blue-bottle, admire world-famous Impressionist paintings and hurtle round in a dodgem, all in one afternoon?

Vienna, that's where.

I was all geared up for a rant about having to take the brats with us on our romantic anniversary getaway because we like all our friends far too much to ask them to mind the unruly mob for a couple of nights. We sent Tiggy to the kennels; no such thing for the kids unfortunately. But as it happens not only is Vienna a cultural and architechtural feast for adults, it's also quite well geared up for the small people.

Oh, except for the cathedral, which is where we (stupidly) headed to first. Have you ever tried to explain, in hushed tones, to a bouncy seven-year-old boy that skipping, humming and climbing on pews is somewhat frowned upon in most religious houses? And that the candles are not there for blowing out while you sing Happy Birthday To You? And that loudly declaring 'This is boring. Can we go now?' may well be true but it's really not polite? Yeah, well, we didn't have much luck with Pickle so we scarpered sharpish before we got chucked out and went to look at the horse and carriages waiting in the courtyard out front instead. Actually one of the horses had more luck with the discipline, more so than it's owner who made a bee-line for Pickle crying 'No touch! No touch!' the minute he stepped near one. The horse turned round and bit him. Maybe I need to try that one myself...

Luckily he wasn't too traumatised to ride in a carriage, a rather extravagant way to get across town when the metro only costs a fifth of the price, but it was fun pretending to be royalty and waving to passers-by. Both children were good as gold round the Impressionists exhibition, although I'm not sure anyone else got through all the paintings as fast as we did. Poppet spent more time playing with the turbo-charged Dyson hand-dryer in the toilets than appreciating the finer points of Monet and Renoir but at least there were no meltdowns with the promise of TGI Fridays if they behaved.

On Day Two we gave in and hit the kiddy-trail, starting with Prater Park - the fun fair. Actually, not many rides were open but I did get to try out one roller coaster where you lie down on your tummy in the car to be hurtled round loops and corkscrews like you're Superman. It was... interesting. Then we did the 'Dizzy Mouse' - twice - which I found far more scary because the car rotates as it throws you round countless U-turns at dizzy heights. Of course the kids loved it; I made Nobby take them on his own for round two.

Four ketchup-y hot dogs later and we headed to the Children's Museum called Zoom! for an exhibition on flying. They had a mock-up of a passenger jet to play in and Pickle was quick to don one of the pilot costumes and head up to the flight simulator in the cockpit. Poppet dressed up in a harness and got herself hoisted to the ceiling to get a fly's-eye-view of the place with accompanying buzzing noises. Thankfully there were no giant fly-swats around. I'm amazed we managed to prise Pickle away from the paper-aeroplane-making room but he was allowed to bring 'Cheat' and 'Bingo' his champion flyers home with him.

We also visited the Natural History Museum with it's aquarium and fascinating Darwin exhibition, but the House of Music was the real treat with three floors of interactive displays about sound and music. After conducting a virtual orchestra with something that looked suspiciously like a Wii, creating a melody by throwing dice and recording our own sounds for some sort of jukebox, the final room had Pickle and I making our own track using ambient sounds from categories such as 'Body,' 'Space,' as well as your own voice. He let me choose a little Mozart Nachtmusik for the background while he mixed in farts, yawns, space shuttle launches and the sound of him (and me) giggling. It wasn't quite Top of the Pops but we had a LOT of fun.

So I think we'll have to bear that in mind for next time we are tempted to explore a capital city - I'm seeking out the kiddy stuff... whether the kiddies come too or not.