Boys Behaving Badly

I had a glimpse into the future today.

Nobby somehow persuaded Pickle to accompany him on a long dog walk 'up to the flagpole' this morning. I suspect a bundle of bribery was involved but anything to get the little screen-hopper out into the fresh air. Especially considering today was one of those strange mid-week public holidays which we always reckon we'll use as an opportunity to get in the car and get out of the city but then we always sleep in late while the kids hit the electronics and can't be torn away from them.

And the air has been LOVELY today! Hopefully, touch wood, I can stop moaning about sodding snow and cold weather and finally pack the thermal socks away for a few months. Spring would appear to have sprung over here. I even saw a snowdrop at the weekend. So I did not mind at all shelving the three hours in the car to go visit a castle (which would probably be shut when we arrived anyway from past experience) and instead I got busy with the home-made compost and some long-overdue gardening.

I also collected all the dog poop off the lawn now it's not buried in snow, but that may be over-sharing. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'what a bag of shite.'

So at lunchtime Nobby invited Pickle tell us girls about the lovely chat they had enjoyed during their walk (having previously informed me that Pickle had almost talked his ears off for forty minutes).

'Oh yeah,' says Pickle, 'we were talking about how Tiggy wags her tail when she's happy.'

'That's nice dear,' says I, 'she wags her tail a lot doesn't she.'

'Yes, well, I told Daddy I was wondering if a boy dog could wag his willy when he was happy instead of his tail!' he continued, gleefully.

'Oh really?' says I.

'Yeah! And then when a girl dog was happy she would waggle her boobies!' he guffawed and then proceeded to model what waggling boobies might look like... ON ME.

What a charming child. Meanwhile Nobby is sitting there grinning away and high-fiving the creative genius.

So now I know what is to come once Pickle reaches beer drinking age. It'll be like having Gary and Tony Behaving Badly on my very own sofa, trying to decide whether they prefer breasts or bottoms.

Can't wait.