Jogging through June

It’s 9 in the evening and I have decided to abandon my attempts at new and cunning ways to persuade the children into their beds and come to update my Blog instead. There are only so many realistic threats I can come up with, all my creative juices are dried up after a mad day chasing my way through a long to-do list. I know all the books say that punishments need to be relevant and immediate so you shouldn’t say ‘go to bed now or you won’t watch telly tomorrow’ because the little darlings know darn well that come 4.30 tomorrow Mummy will be begging them to sit in front of Bob the Builder and stop following her round the house. So far I have removed Pickle’s favourite bedtime CD and teddy bear and I am this close to removing the night-light. But honestly I just can’t go through with it as the time-wasting tactics just make me want to laugh and hug them! Pickle is currently constructing a dragon’s head out of Duplo while he sports a fetching ‘King’s cloak’ cunningly crafted from a blanket and a belt. He already finished the new mile-long railway system for Thomas the Tank Engine, and the elaborate sleeping quarters for the toy hamster would shame any Changing Rooms team. Poppet has other methods – she went down easily enough, accepting the warning that Mummy would be right next door doing the ironing and even kissing me goodnight. 10 minutes later she has quietly turned the light on, fetched her Girl’s World dis-embodied head and is busy coming up with hair and make-up for the next cover of Vogue. Love her.

Oh well. I know that Pickle will give up by about 9.30, which is when he turns into a pumpkin And as long as Poppet doesn’t decorate the wall as well I think I can let it go. They’ll pay in the morning when I go get them at 7am to get up for school. And frankly I would rather watch paint dry than continue with any more ironing. But oh, mother, what is going on elsewhere, have I been invaded with the spirit of Anthea since confessing to the picture tidying episode? I went on to organise the rest of the children’s art and craft materials using handy plastic boxes, I’ve tidied all the bedrooms, developed a laundry routine and started menu-planning for the whole week. I had some ladies over this morning for a 1st Aid course and I hostess-ed to the max, even dragging out a tablecloth and the nice crockery.

Nobby, of course, asked me if I’m pregnant. Nice. And, er, NO!

So back to the news. Nobby is out playing football this evening and I am beginning to think I should have called this ‘Diary of a Football Widow’. No, it’s not that bad and Nobby even confessed to his first slip today when he actually forgot that he had an important match tonight and remained at his desk instead. Wonders will never cease. It’s probably no bad thing as I wouldn’t have had the car back at the right time anyway having got carried away with the after school events – tonight we had a tea party in the (French) school playground to present the teachers with their end-of-year gifts after which we stopped off at the park in town for a bit. I took them via the pharmacy to get some more hay-fever medicine for Pickle. Poppet and her little friend decided to sample the lipsticks while they waited for me… I’ll leave the rest to your imagination but I am glad I still carry wet-wipes with me. At least they were careful though; I am grateful they are past the ‘dragging things off the shelves’ stage – I will never forget the day I parked Poppet’s pushchair too close to the display in the glassware shop in Bath and she managed £50-worth of damage within 5 seconds.

In fact, she and I went on a nice, successful girly shopping trip to La Defense on Saturday while Nobby took Pickle with him to a football tournament. She seems to have come out of her pink phase and chose mostly aqua-marine, turquoise and green outfits which she really enjoyed trying on and parading in front of the mirror. As a reward for being so good I took her to McDs for lunch and then she nagged me for a trip to see Shrek 3 until I finally cracked. (It didn’t take long, I love that series and number 3 did not disappoint I assure you!) We decided not to tell Pickle but he’s happy anyway after the McDs Happy Meal toy turned out to be a plastic talking Shrek which burps…loudly.

Also this week, we have had their first ever school sports day at the English school. It was great fun; egg and spoon, sack race, balance the beanbag on your head race and of course the Mummies and Daddies race. Nobby took the afternoon off to come and watch and got roped in to holding one end of the finishing tape while I helped hand out the 1st, 2nd and 3rd stickers. Pickle did really well winning 3 races and Poppet was miles ahead with the beanbag on her head. Possibly nothing to do with the wide hair-band she was wearing… I don’t think any of the 6 year olds noticed and the other parents were very sporting!

Nobby’s due back any minute so it’s time to get the dinner on. All I can say is thank heavens for Nigel Slater and his 30 minute cook-book. And of course my handy menu plan – this cannot be happening man. Will there be any jobs left to give my Mum when she comes to visit next week?!