Legs Bums and Tums (and Boobs)

I am pleased to report that I don’t ache too much after our marathon bike-ride yesterday. And Poppet hasn’t repeated the naughty word I used when I asked her to stop asking questions while I was panting my way up the hill (well, not to me anyway). However I still felt the need to don the Bridget Jones pants again this morning before going out in public. I also decided to dig out a body-toning and ‘abs’ exercise sequence I received from some American fitness instructor just after Christmas as part of a 6 week on-line challenge I signed up for to beat the post-Christmas bloat. (I actually spent Christmas in France not the UK but perhaps there is a pattern emerging here…?) Throughout January I faithfully stuck to the daily schedule and industriously read every motivational email that plopped into my Inbox each morning… yeah, did I heck-as-like. Hence the need to *dig* it out - from the deepest, darkest depths of my email archive. It’s a nice, short, easy-ish routine, now I’ve finally tried it, although I had to laugh when it suggested using cans of baked beans for ‘increased resistance’ when doing the bicep and triceps curls. I think baked beans are part of the reason I’m in this mess in the first place! Luckily I found some old dumb-bells in the dark recesses under my bed so I don’t have to look temptation in the eye when I am supposed to be working out. Exercise makes me hungry enough as it is. I am staying away from the scales too. I very rarely weigh myself. Being one of these saddos who hangs on to the same clothes year-in-year-out I pretty much know when something needs to be done when the waistbands start to bite. That and the straightforward test of looking straight down to check whether I can see my belly beyond my boobs. It’s simple but effective. Nothing is scarier than the realisation that your wobbly tummy is entering the room 5 minutes before your nips. It hasn’t got quite that bad yet but I do remember the horrible moment during my first pregnancy when the bump overtook the oversized bust I had suddenly developed even before I wee-ed on the stick to confirm I was knocked- up in the first place. And then of course my waist disappeared and my belly button turned inside out and the degradation was complete. These days the old ‘rack’ isn’t quite as impressive which means the flab doesn’t have so far to go now, although I’m far from the ironing-board-with-a-pair-of-Smarties figure.

Well, hopefully my toning routine and some more bike rides will help along with our return to more sensible eating now we are out of reach of Tescos. I’m even trying those new exercise shoes which are supposed to tone and slim as you walk around at your daily tasks. And perhaps they will – when I’ve found enough balance to be able to let go of the wall. But for now the couch is beckoning instead, as are my comfy slippers. I wonder what’s on the box? (Pity we can’t get the slimming channels over here – maybe Paul McKenna could help us get the kids to sleep before midnight?!)