What a day

I just overheard Poppet and Pickle engaged in some game or other, during which Pickle piped up with some wild statement and Poppet replied 'That's an opinion.'

'What's an opinion?' asks Pickle.

And Poppet proceeded to tell him, in full teacher stylee. She was absolutely spot-on as well.
'It's like me saying that January is the best month. We don't know if January really is the best month [it has her birthday in it so I guess it probably is for her!] but it's what I think so it's my opinion.'

I am so proud, maybe my new career is rubbing off on her.

How I wish I could be so succinct in the classroom, faced with the fresh-faced little darlings who inevitably have more opinions on the brand new material I am trying to teach them than I have grey hairs on my head.

Some days teaching is like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube.

... such as my beautifully planned Social Studies lesson earlier. We have been looking at Christianity as a lead up to explaining more about Christmas without too much reference to Toys R Us and I have just got round to introducing the Bible. Yesterday we went over how it is a book in two parts, the old and the new testaments, and how Jesus' friends wrote books about his life called the Gospels. Today we started by going back over yesterday's learning.

Me: So how many parts are there to the bible?
Little Boy: [staring at the little girl next to him] Hmmm?
Little Girl: Two!
Me: Well done! And what are they called? Old and ...
Little Boy: [staring out the window] Errrrr...?
Little Girl: New!
Me: Very good! And who wrote the stories about Jesus?
Little Boy: [finally noticing he is still in school] Two!
Little Girl: The Three Wise Men?

Oh dear.
We then proceeded to 'study' the meanings in the parables and how they are like the moralistic stories, such as The Boy Who Cried Wolf, we mothers have been ramming down their throats ever since they were old enough to realise that if you scream like your leg's been chopped off then Mummy will come running and may even fetch you a biscuit if you act suitably cute when she sees there's nothing wrong.

We started with The Prodigal Son, all about forgiveness and saying sorry, which turned out to be pretty relevent given what two of these kids were involved in during playtime which left one of them in tears and the other one in front of the Principal. However, we somehow got bogged down in wondering why the younger son was so hungry when he had spent all his money and was working as a pig farmer.

Little Girl: Why didn't he just eat a pig?
Little Boy: Maybe he didn't eat pork.
Me: The pigs didn't belong to him.
Little Girl: Why didn't he eat the pig food?
Me: The pig food didn't belong to him.
Little Boy: He could wait until the pig owner went away and then eat one.
Me: The pigs didn't belong to him.
Little Girl: Did he die?
Me: No, he decided to go home and say sorry to his father.
Little Boy: Did he take the pigs with him?
Me: The pigs didn't belong to him.
Little Girl: Was his father dead?

Seriously, when someone says to you 'Never work with children and animals' they are NOT talking about showbiz. Trust me.

I rounded off my day with a Science lesson which was observed and evaluated by the school Principal as evidence to help me pass the practical part of my teaching course. It was all going swimmingly, they were all excited about the idea of creating a pop-up Christmas card as an example of forces in action, and I whipped out the lovely prototype I had knocked up during my lunch break so they had something to work towards. Then I made the mistake of mentioning the jingle bells I had drawn on the inside, at which most of the class burst into a rendition of Jingle Bells at full volume. Curse school Christmas production rehearsals! You can't so much as mention 'the jolly fat man in red' without getting three verses of 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town' and all currency lessons are off the agenda since 'Money, Money', Money' made it into the school play about Scrooge.

It all ended well though, and the Principal seemed suitably convinced that I am doing a good job; luckily the bell went before we got into the sticky backed plastic and glitter as Science met Blue Peter. I'm saving that one for the continuation on Friday.

Anyway, other news: we are all over our germs; touch wood the boys haven't come down with anything to date. Pickle won a silver medal in his chess tournament and the teacher told me she was extremely proud of his performance. She said he was concentrating so hard he almost had steam coming out of his ears. Poppet has the electric keyboard back in her bedroom again in order to practice 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' for the piano recital next week. Nobby went to Poland for a night, meanwhile I blithely volunteered to take on Boy-Next-Door's puppy for ten days at Christmas... Can't wait to see what Nobby says to that.
But I like to live dangerously - after all, I am a teacher now.