Lesson 1 (for Poppet): When messing about in front of the mirror instead of going to bed when Mummy has told you to, always wear a gumshield. Especially when performing contortionist tricks which involve trying to wrap your legs round your arms whilst standing on your hands. You never know, you may fall over and you're either going to land on your arse... or your face. And if your face makes contact with the drawer handles in front of you, you may chip a tooth.
Yup, we've had another 'oh shit' moment from the her ladyship. I always thought the boy would be the one to have us rushing to emergency rooms late at night, but actually Poppet is the one who breaks pieces of herself and last night it was two thirds of her front tooth.
You never heard screaming like it.
I got straight onto the phone to my Uncle in Cornwall - I think I only phone him for denstistry questions lately. Long story short, much wailing and gnashing of severly shortened teeth later, Poppet and I made an 11pm visit to a dentist recommended by a friend and he was able reassure us that the tooth was probably salvagable without root canal work at this stage and, with the help of a beautiful assistant otherwise known as Nobby's missus (all the nurses had sensibly gone home to bed) he proceeded to apply a temporary crown so poor Poppet wouldn't look a total Fang the next day.
I have to say, if you're going to wreck your teeth, do it in Budapest. Amazing.
Lesson 2 (for Pickle): When Mummy has been up until one in the morning with a traumatised daughter, she won't be firing on all cylinders getting all your ducks in a row for you next morning. Therefore, it might be better to think about picking up a coat for the minus six degrees snowy weather BEFORE you arrive on the school premises.
My son looks very fetching in my car travel blanket, though I swear the coat would have been much trendier, after all the dosh we paid for it. This is the same boy who made it all the way to a birthday party climbing trees in the Buda hills before realising he wasn't wearing any shoes. You'd have thought the ritual humiliation of having to wear his sister's spare PINK trainers for the entire party would have rammed the message home that one ought to check one's footwear and out garments before entering the car, but no.
It'll take a lot more than a sledgehammer to get that message installed.
Lesson 3 (for Nobby): and I have said this before - NO YOU CAN'T WIN.
You married a woman, there is no such thing as 'winning', be it choosing the right gift for a birthday or examining the decisions taken in an attempt to fix your daughter's broken tooth.
Deal with it.
So ends the sermon for this evening.
I'll tell you about my thespian performance some other time.
Just say a quiet 'yippee!!' for me at 14h GMT+1 tomorrow when school ends for three weeks!!!!!
1 day ago