Trolley wars

What's worse than standing in a queue of ten people at your least favourite supermarket on a busy Monday night with only three tills open?(they should rename it the rubbishmarket, there is NOTHING whatsoever that is super about it)

This is the strangely named Kaiser's, which has been taken over by Spar but they are struggling to replace the Kaiser's banner above the door. I may have mentioned it before, the place where you need a sense of humour bypass before they will offer you minimum wage employment.

The place where you can have your cabbage shredded into coleslaw for free by the sheer force by which they ram the goods over the infra red.

The place where the only way to lift your spirits is to join in the unspoken game of 'beat the checkout' by trying to get all your shopping into bags before the assistant clears the conveyor belt and un-tactfully levers the accumulated pile down the ramp at you before sitting back in her chair, arms folded, to watch you catch up.

The worst thing has to be the over-zealous assistant getting so lost in the game that she throws three bottles of beer across the bleeper with such force that one of them explodes and showers you, her and all your remaining shopping with luke-warm Corona.

I had to laugh, or else I'd have cried.